Payback
by 27dayz
Summary: Aberforth Dumbledore feels he owes his brother alot and he wants to pay him back. He knows Albus won't take gold. After seeing an interaction between Albus and Minerva, he decides to play match maker. Will his plans work or will mayhem break loose?
1. A Different Kind of Payback

AN: i've taken an intrest in ADMM stories so i thought hey, why not write one of my own?

Disclaimer: Dont own any HP characters.

**Payback**

**Ch 1: A Different Kind of Payback**

Aberforth Dumbledore stood, his wand out-stretched, infront of a hansome wooden desk, staring his opponent in the eye.

"Take it, Albus. Otherwise I will be forced to hex you," he stated. He was, of course, talking to the headmaster of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, one of the greatest wizards of the age.

"Put your wand away before you hurt somebody," Albus Dumbledore ordered with that signature twinkle in his eyes. Rather than alarmed, Albus looked very amused at the thought of his brother's threat. Quite frankly, he would've been more worried is Aberforth was aiming for the person next to him.

"Not until you take that bag of gold," Aberforth replied. Albus sighed, picked up the bag of gold Galleons on his desk, and threw it at his younger brother.

"A flobberworm would've figured out by now that I will not take any money from you," he stated solemly.

"But I owe you."

"No, you don't."

"Yes, I do. You didn't have to buy me The Hog's Head, but you did. Now I want to pay you back," Aberforth replied stubbornly.

"I believe you've tried to pay me back for that pub 584 times over these past eight years and every time I have said that the pub was your 100th birthday present. Forget it, Aberforth," Albus ordered.

"But Albus-" Aberforth started, but he might as well have been talking to a brick wall for at that very moment a dark-haired woman by the name of Minerva McGonagall walked into the office. His elder brother appeared to be entranced by her from the second she walked into the room.

"Oh, I'm sorry, Professor Dumbledore. I didn't realize-" she started.

"It's alright, Minerva. You weren't interupting anything important," Albus said, smiling kindly. Aberforth raised his eyebrows. He knew Minerva was a teacher at Hogwarts, Transfiguration, if he was not mistaken. He also knew that she was Head of Gryffindor house and Albus's deputy. Just what she was deputy of, he had yet to find out.

"Oh, well, Argus wants you to look over his reports for the students. He also has quite a few new punishments he wants you to approve," she explained, handing him some forms.

"Probably all for James Potter and Sirius Black. Thank you very much, Minerva," he smiled kindly. At this point, Aberforth loudly cleared his throat (AN: think umbridge style).

"Oh, have you met my brother, Aberforth?" Albus asked in after-thought.

"No, I don't think I have," she smiled kindly.

"Well, then. Aberforth, this is Minerva McGonagall. Minerva, this is Aberforth," he introduced.

"Pleasure's all mine," Aberforth said, extending a hand. She took it.

"Likewise, of course. Well, I hate to run, but I have lesson plans to attend to," and with that, she briskly exited the way she entered.

"Your deputy, right?" Aberforth asked. Albus nodded.

"Can see why. Meow!" he smirked.

"Implying what, Aberforth?" Albus asked, his eyes narrowing.

"Nothing. Nothing. Just wondering if you two ever play cowboys and idians," he said, almost fit to burst out laughing, when Albus rose to his feet.

"Aberforth-"

"Sorry, Al, Ol' buddy. But seriously, she does seem to have your entire attention span on her at all times. Am I invited to the wedding?" he teased.

"Do you want ME to hex you, Aberforth?" Albus threatened, which by all means, was much more impressive than his brother.

"Okay. Calm down. Take a joke. Anyways, I'd better get back to the pub. I'll see you later, Loverboy," Aberforth was just quick enough to dodge his brother's spell and speed out the door.

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_Albus and Minerva sittin' in a tree, K-I-S-S-_

"Think we should be getting back to the castle, Mauraders?" Aberforth's chant of Albus kissing Minerva McGonagall in a tree was interupted by a mild male voice. He could see that it came from a group of four boys-students, obviously- standing outside of Zonko's Joke shop.

"And be in before curfew, Remus? Honestly, how long have you known us, Moony? Us being on time for something is about as likely as-" the boy with messy hair stopped to think.

"As McGonagall and Dumbledore ever going out," the boy with long dark hair finished for him. Interesting...

"Do you ever run out of McGonagall and Dumbledore analogies, Sirius?" Remus asked.

"No. They just give me too much amunition. They're together all the time yet they're too blind to see that they want each other," Sirius answered. The fourth boy laughed wildly.

"They that close?" Aberforth asked them suddenly. All four of them regarded him with surprise. The messy-haired boy was the first to recover.

"Yeah. Who're you?" he asked. These boys just gave Aberforth an idea. Albus was obviously in love with Minerva. That was the first time Aberforth had ever seen his brother flirt with a woman scince they were young and no matter how Albus tried to deny it, he was lonely. If Aberforth could get them together, Albus would be very grateful and Aberforth's debt for the pub would be repaid. And he could use a little help.

"Aberforth Dumbledore and I have to ask, how well do you know my brother and Minerva McGonagall? " he asked.

"We're they're students. See them on a sometimes hourly baises due to our lack of following the rules," Remus answered, still mildly surprised.

"Excellent. Let's go to my pub and talk," Aberforth motioned for them to follow.

"Cool. I'm James Potter and these are my friends, Remus Lupin, Sirius Black, and Peter Pettigrew,"

"Should we follow him?" Peter asked.

"Why not?" James shrugged, leading his friends to follow their headmaster's brother.

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AN: so what do you think? it should get funnier in later chapters. please R&R!


	2. Love Letters from Moony, Wormtail, Padfo...

AN: wow! I want to say thanks to everyone who reviewed. Thanks a lot. Now as for your payback...the second chapter!

Disclaimer: Don't own any HP characters.

**Payback**

**Ch 2: Love Letters from Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot, and Prongs**

"So let me get this straight. You want us to help you get our headmaster and his deputy together so that you will feel your debt for this shack is repaid?" James asked after Aberforth explained his plan over a few free Butterbeers in the Hog's head.

"That's the gist of it, yeah," Aberforth answered.

"You really think they love each other?" Remus asked sceptically.

"Yeah. I haven't seen Albus look at anyone that way since he was young and girl-crazy," Aberforth answered, smiling. Sirius smirked as an image of Professor Dumbldore chasing girls around Hogwarts grounds popped in his head.

"So what do we get out of this?" Peter asked, narrowing his beady eyes.

"What do you want?" Aberforth asked.

"Unlimited free beverages of any kind," James said, grinning. Nothing beats free alcohol.

"How about gold?" Peter asked.

"Peter, don't be so thick. Besides if we pull this off, McGonagall and Dumbledore will be so preoccupied with each other to care about what we do. Tell me, what's better than free drinks AND no Headmaster or deputy headmistress on our backs?" Sirius asked. Peter nodded and sulked behind Sirius.

"That's the spirit. Free drinks, then?" Aberforth asked.

"Deal," James grinned as he shook Aberforth's out-stretched hand.

"I don't know about this. What if we're wrong? What if we-" Remus started.

"If we're wrong, we promise not to get you into trouble and screw up your plan to become the first ever were-wolf Minister for Magic," Sirius pledged.

"Just help us. Besides, would it kill you to live a little?" James asked.

"Alright, fine. But I am holding you to your word, Sirius," Remus caved.

"Great. Now, down to business. What's a sure-fire way to get people together?" Aberforth asked.

"Secret admirer notes worked on Lily until she found out they were from us," Sirius suggested.

"She wouldn't have found out if you hadn't of used my owl to send them," James muttered.

"Well, why do you get post in the mornings, anyways? Your parents can't miss you that much!" Sirius exclaimed.

"Why I outta-"

"The notes will work as long as we bewitch the handwriting," Remus said overtop of his friends' argument.

"Excellent. You lot will be in charge of writing them and I'll bewitch the writing for you. Now, unless I'm very much mistaken, you need to get back to the castle before dark," Aberforth suggested.

"Right. We'll meet you tomorrow at noon by the lake," Sirius said.

"See you there," Aberforth nodded as he ushered the quartet out the door.

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"Right. How's this one?

_Roses are red,_

_Violets are blue,_

_Minerva, you are strict,_

_and I want to snog you_," Sirius asked once they were back in the Gryffidor common room. Everyone had gone to sleep, but the Mauraders were working tirelessly at writing love letters for their professors. They decided that they would include poetry, but were now thoroughly regretting it.

"That's just wrong coming out of you mouth, Sirius," Peter grimaced.

"And there is no way we're sending that to our teachers," Remus added.

"In all fairness, Moony, that one was better than his:

_Minerva, Minerva, you are so fine,_

_You're the type I'd wine and dine,_

_Afterwards I'd get you moaning,_

_and then you'd be screaming my name at all hours in the morning._

That one gave me very scary mental images," James groaned and shook his head as if he thought that the 'very scary mental images' would just fly out his ears or something.

"I'm just a master poet, who's work is never appreciated. Here's another one:

_Oh, Albus can't you see _

_I love you so much, I can't eat_

_You should come to my room,_

_then you'd start humming a different sort of tune_," Sirius recited.

"Out of the twelve poems you've done, Sirius, that one is probably the cleanest on so far," Remus remarked.

"Oh! Why didn't you just tell me you wanted it to be clean? How about this one, then?

_My love of knowledge is great,_

_My love of socks is greater,_

_My love of sweets is greatest,_

_But my love for you is the greatest of all,_" Sirius said.

"As they say, thirteenth time's a charm," James muttered.

"Alright, that's obviously a Dumbldore to McGonagall poem. What about McGonagall to Dumbldore?" Remus asked.

"Uh, let's see...

_I admire you,_

_not for the wizard, but for the man._

_Odd little phrases, _

_Quirky little lines,_

_I fall for you, time after time,_" Sirius thought aloud.

"Where did you learn to write poetry?" the other three demanded.

"Do you think every girl in Hogwarts is infatuated by me just because of my looks, magical talent, and bad-ass attitude?" Sirius answered, grinning.

"Right. Anyways, now that the poetry is over with ("Thank Merlin!" Peter exclaimed.), we should work on the actual letters. Sirius and James can do the one to McGonagall and Peter and I will do Dumbledore," Remus ordered. After his initial objections, he actually thought that he could 'live a little' as put by James and make sure that his friends didn't do anything inappropriate.

An hour or so later, the Marauders trudged up to bed after exclaiming "Done!" at the same time.

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AN: well that concludes chapter 2. I hope you enjoyed it and review. I can see that I am going to have fun with this. Sirius's poems may be a bit short, but I am not a poet.


	3. A Blind Date

AN: i hope you like ch3! sorry for the delay. been very busy.

Disclaimer: Don't own any HP characters.

**Payback**

**Ch 3: A Blind Date**

"About time!" James exclaimed upon seeing Aberforth walking towards the edge of the lake.

"Sorry. I went to the wrong side of the lake. Anyways, are the letters finished?" he asked.

"Yeah. They're right here," Remus said, handing the two letters to Aberforth.

"Great. Now what was that bewitching spell, again?" he wondered aloud.

"Aren't you going to read them?" Peter asked as Aberforth pondered which spell he had to use.

"No. I can read," he answered, without so much as blinking. The Marauders looked incredulous.

"You're telling us that you are the brother of the most powerful wizard of the age and you can't even read?!" Sirius asked, stunned.

"Never thought it was important," Aberforth shrugged, "Ah, yes, I remember now. _Escriptos!_"

Instantly, the parchment Remus was holding began to expand, but nothing happened to the handwriting.

"Oh, fiddlesticks! That was an expansion charm! My bad!" Aberforth suddenly exclaimed, "Here, let me fix it!"

"No! No, I'll do it!" Remus said quickly, "_Finite Incatatum!_" The last thing they needed was the letters catching fire.

The letters, that had roughly reached the size of Peter, returned to their normal state.

"Nice one," the others said together.

"Thanks, but now what are we going to do? Aberforth can't remember the spell and none of us know it..." Remus started looking at a bunch of girls at the lake. James and Sirius followed his gaze. Sirius looking horrified; James looking delighted.

"Well we could..."

"Don't even think it, James..."

"What can't James think?"

"It's our only hope, Sirius..."

"There has to be another way! We can't ask..."

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Lily Evans stared sceptically at the Marauders and Aberforth before speaking very slowly.

"You want me to bewitch the handwriting on these letters so you dunderheads can send them to our teachers!" she exclaimed, hardly daring to believe her ears.

"Well, yes, but-" James started.

"Are you INSANE?" she cut across him. He cowered in her wrath.

"But you see, Evans-" Sirius tried.

"These are our TEACHERS for god sakes!" she shot a glare at him that would've made a basilisk run for it.

"Well, technically he's my brother-" Aberforth was drowned out by Lily.

"You'll get them EXPELLED!" he cowered beside James, Sirius, and Peter. Apparently Lily could sense weakness.

"Now, Lily, this isn't some-" Remus started, summoning his Gryffindor courage.

"And YOU, letting them attempt THIS!" she screamed. Lucky thing they were outside, or Dumbledore and McGonagall might have gotten wise to what the collaboration between Aberforth and the Marauders had in store for them.

"Prank that Sirius and James-" Remus continued.

"Honestly, you're supposed to be a PREFECT!" she went on.

"Concocted. McGonagall and Dumbledore-"

"WILL EXPELL YOU!"

"Are in love, but won't admit it, so we decided-"

"TO LOSE YOUR MINDS?"

"To help them. And we need-"

"BRAINS?"

"Your help," he finally finished in between Lily's shouts of how stupid they were.

"And why should I help YOU?" she snapped.

"B-because everyone d-deserves a shot at l-love?" James boldly squeaked. Lily seemed to soften a bit.

"This is the stupidest thing you've ever thought of James Potter."

"B-but he did think for once," Sirius put in, following his friend's lead. A hint of a smile appeared on Lily's face. James glared at him.

"Your help would be much appreciated," Aberforth said. Peter nodded vigorously behind him. She looked at the five of them closely.

"Alright. I'll help, but if we get in trouble-"

"We'll take the blame," James finished. He clapped a hand over Sirius's mouth before he could say 'Aww, how cute!'

"So what do you need me to do?"

"We need you to bewitch the handwriting on these letters. Can you do that, please?" Aberforth asked.

"Okay, but I still think you are all raving lunatics. If it weren't for the fact that most of the school notices how much they act like love-sick teenagers, I would march all of you to their offices right now," she said, drawing her wand.

"Wow. They aren't obvious at all, are they?" Aberforth said, raising his eyebrows.

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In the face of an unfamiliar situation, one often tries to find some sort of comfort. This was held true when Albus Dumbledore received his letter from the ever-interfering marauders and Aberforth. He needed to relax and only one thing would do the trick. He reached into his drawer and pulled out about three Sherbet Lemons, popped them in his mouth and re-read the letter:

_Dearest Albus,_

_I know that you have been working very hard lately, and I would like to help you relax. Would you like a late lunch by the lake around two o'clock? I hope that you'll come because there is something important you need to know. Don't worry; I have more than enough sweets for the both of us. Please come so I can tell you that I've been in love with you from the moment I met you._

_Your Secret Friend_

_I admire you,_

_not for the wizard, but for the man._

_Odd little phrases, _

_Quirky little lines,_

_I fall for you, time after time_

He was still in shock as he read it a fourth time. He popped a couple more Sherbet Lemons in his mouth. It was only then he started to think rationally. Okay, this was obviously a trick set up by some student or students, he added thinking of James Potter and his fellow Gryffindors. If he went to this meeting by the lake, he would simply be humiliating himself in front of everyone. Perhaps he should discuss the matter with Minerva and- Wait! What if the letter was not a joke and was sent by her? His heart leapt, but it quickly settled back to it's original place. No matter how much he loved her, she would never return the feeling. He was 99.9 sure of it. Back to the matter of the letter. He did enough dwelling on Minerva as it was. Should he go? Should he not go? Was it a trick? Was it love? In the end, he did the only plausible thing.

"What do you think, Fawkes?" he asked his phoenix. Fawkes only cooed in reply.

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Now, when Minerva McGonagall received her letter, she was in the staff room with Xiomara Hooch. She dropped the letter in shock.

"What's the matter?" Xiomara asked, picking up the letter and reading it:

_Dearest Minerva,_

_If you think that a man can think rationally while you are around, you are mistaken. What man could not be entranced by your beauty, grace, and kind-hearted nature? I don't think I've felt this way about a woman since I was young and girl-crazed. But now I am older and wiser and I know that my feelings for you will never fade. I love you and I'm hoping you come to the lake for a late lunch so I can tell you so in person. Let's say around two o'clock? Please, Minerva, I'm on my hands and knees!_

_Your forever entranced secret admirer_

_My love of knowledge is great,_

_My love of socks is greater,_

_My love of sweets is greatest,_

_But my love for you is the greatest of all_

She snickered to herself. Apparently this man had never been on the receiving end of one of Minerva's rants. Xiomara then looked at her friend's face, and suppressed another snicker. The normally cool, crisp Minerva McGonagall looked shell-shocked. Finally she broke the silence.

"So, it looks like you've got a blind date lined up for two, huh? There goes any marking you were planning on," she honestly thought this was a good thing for her friend.

"Y-you don't think I'm going to go, do you?" Minerva countered, finally finding her voice.

"Of course you are. For all we know, it might be a certain ex-transfiguration professor whom you still haven't told of your undying affections after about 37 odd years," Xiomara said.

"38 and that is not the point. There is no way this can be from him! There's no bloody way it's even genuine!" Minerva started.

"Come on, Min! You've been in love with him since sixth year! And judging from the fact that you and he finish each other's sentences, I'd say there is a very good chance he sent the letter!" Xiomara shouted.

"I refuse to make a fool of myself! I am not going! What are you smiling about?" Minerva asked, as a goofy grin spread over her best friends face. Any normal person would run the other way. Mind you, she had deduced that Xiomara was never normal years ago.

"If you don't go, I am not to blame if it accidentally slips at dinner that you have been in love with a man 80 years your senior for the last 37 years," she smiled smugly. Ah, blackmail...what a wonderful thing. Minerva frowned, defeated, and grimly corrected her friend.

"He's 82 years my senior and it's 38 years."

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Albus had to resist the urge to cheer as Minerva McGonagall entered the entrance hall, obviously heading outside.

"Minerva?"

"Albus? Are you heading outside, too?" she asked.

"Um, yes...Walk with me?" he asked, hoping against hope...

"Of course," she agreed as he opened the door for her, "What brings you out here Albus?"

"Uh...you see, I received a letter telling me to meet someone by the lake," he answered sheepishly. Minerva raised her eyebrows.

"For a picnic lunch?" she asked. Now it was his turn to look surprised.

"Yes, how did you know?" he asked, hoping that she was the one who sent the letter.

"I received a letter like that, myself," she answered, "Do you think we were set up?"

"I certainly seems so. Probably by a certain student or students. Merlin, whoever sent the letters seems to have made good on the picnic!" he exclaimed, motioning to a blanket and picnic basket.

"What should we do?" she asked.

"Well, we might as well enjoy the picnic. Shame to let good food go to waste. Join me?" he asked.

"Alright. Maybe we could fathom punishments for the students who set this up," she suggested, a rare smile gracing her features. He nodded, finding himself unable to speak. She was beautiful.

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Xiomara's curiosity got the better of her. That was the only plausible reason for why she was walking the grounds just after Minerva left. It looked as if she was right. Albus Dumbledore was sitting with her best friend on a picnic blanket. She smiled to herself and decided to find a spot to watch the fireworks. She was a sucker for romance.

"Do you think they figured it out?" a whisper from behind a bunch of bushes caught her attention.

"They are the most intelligent witch and wizard of the age, Peter, of course they have," Sirius Black sounded annoyed.

"Figured out what, Mr. Black?" she asked moving the clump of bushes to reveal the stunned faces of James Potter, Sirius Black, Peter Pettigrew, Remus Lupin, Lily Evans, and the barman from the Hog's Head.

"M-Madame Hooch," Sirius paled.

"Figured what out?" she said again, her eyes narrowing.

"Well, you see, Madame, I am Aberforth Dumbledore, Albus's brother, and I persuaded these students to help me get Albus and Minerva McGonagall to notice that they love each other. My fault completely. So does a lovely woman such as yourself have a name?" the barman asked. Aberforth was obviously hoping that this wouldn't be a repeat of what happened between Lily and the marauders.

"Xiomara Hooch. So, you lot organised this meeting?" she asked, blushing at his previous comment. James answered, not going back on his word.

"Remus and Lily didn't want any part of it, but we forced them into it," he said. She completely disregarded his comment.

"This was obviously a stroke of genius. I should've thought of this sooner," she said, smiling as she watched their faces relax.

"We all were sort of sick of seeing them dance around each other," Aberforth shrugged.

"You are not the only ones. Mind if I help? I don't think I can stand watching Min pine away for him any longer," she asked.

"The more the merrier. Come and watch," he motioned her over. James and Sirius exchanged looks. Perhaps when they succeeded with Dumbledore and McGonagall, they'd give Aberforth and Hooch a nudge in the right direction.

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Albus was nervous, no doubt about that. Fortunately, the thermos filled with hot chocolate seemed to help a great deal.

"I'll bet you anything it was Potter and his little gang," Minerva said.

"Shame we don't have proof. We can punish them for no reason," he answered.

"They'll give me a reason eventually."

"I can only think of one other quartet that caused as much trouble as them," he chuckled.

"We weren't that bad," she pouted. Well maybe Xiomara and Sylvia were, but not her and Poppy. Much.

"True, but you had your moments," he smiled. They talked for a while more, before deciding to head back to the castle.

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"Is it just me or were there absolutely no fireworks?" Xiomara asked.

"Maybe we were wrong," Lily suggested.

"No, you didn't see the way Al completely forgot where he was when she walked into the room," Aberforth said simply.

"And you haven't been hearing how much she loves him for the past 38 years," Xiomara added. Aberforth raised his eyebrows.

"So she was the student he was so inappropriately in love with," he commented. She nodded.

"Well I guess we'll just have to try harder," James said.

"Especially if they've been in love for that long," Sirius added.

"Any ideas?" Peter asked.

"Even though they are against the rules, I have one," Remus said quietly.

"I will not breathe a word if it helps those two," Xiomara assured him.

"Anyone know how to brew a love potion?" he asked quietly.

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AN: a nice long chapter ended in a cliffy...don't you just hate that? sorry guys. I have no idea where hooh and Lily came in or the hooch/aberforth idea...oh well, it made it better then my original plan. my brain surprises me sometimes. R&R!


	4. Brewing The Love Potion

AN: i hope you like ch4! i hope some people realize the danger of the mauraders and assistants brewing a love potion...if they don't they will now.

Disclaimer: Don't own any HP characters.

**Payback**

**Ch 4: Brewing the Love Potion**

"How long will it take?" Aberforth asked as leaned against a cubicle in the unused bathroom on the second floor.

"Only about a day," Remus answered, carefully stirring the potion as the book said.

"Good, but do we have to do it in a _girls_ washroom?" Peter moaned.

"Yes, because then we'll have it on hand when it's finished so we can get Dumbledore and McGonagall together faster," James replied, as he handed an ingredient to Remus and Lily. They had decided that Sirius, James, Peter, Aberforth, and Xiomara would get the ingredients rather then brew the actual potion. Remus thought in might be safer that way.

"It wasn't easy, but I got some powdered unicorn horn," Xiomara announced proudly, handing it to Lily.

"Good. Peter, could you pass me that measuring cup?" she asked. He obliged, but as he was handing it to her, his arm knocked a vial of red liquid right into the potion.

"PETER!" Lily shrieked, jumping back as the potion turned a bright red-ish colour and started to simmer. Remus was just a hair too late to jump back from the explosion.

"OWWWW!" he yelled, moaning and covering his face.

"Let's see Lupin!" Madame Hooch ordered, rushing over to his side. Remus was still rolling around on the floor.

"Come on, Remus!" James said. He and Sirius tried to restrain their friend as Aberforth, Lily, and Xiomara pried his hands away from his face. Peter, being absolutely useless, just watched.

"Bloody hell!" James exclaimed. Remus's face had turned scarlet, his eyebrows and much of his sandy brown hair were singed, and most peculiarly, his freckles we now bright pink in the shape of very tiny hearts.

"Holy goats!" Aberforth followed.

"Come on. We need to get him to the hospital wing. Poppy'll know how to sort him out. James, Sirius, Lily, and Peter, you lot stay back while Aberforth and I take Remus to the hospital wing," Madame Hooch ordered, as Aberforth threw his cloak over the poor lad's head. Then they led Remus out of there.

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"Xiomara? What happened?" Poppy Pomfrey asked as her best friend as she and the owner of the Hog's Head steered a student to a bed.

"Uh...um...well, you see..." she started. If she told Poppy the truth, Poppy would turn very Minerva-like in a hurry.

"Out with it, 'Mara!" Poppy barked, removing the cloak from Remus's head. She gasped.

"Well...he got in the way of a...er...bit of an explosion on the second floor," Xiomara answered carefully.

"What kind of explosion?" Poppy asked, rummaging through her cabinet of potions.

"Uh...he said it was a charm gone wrong...or something like that," Xiomara lied.

"I've known you since our first year, Xiomara, tell the truth!" Poppy ordered.

"Well...er...now you can't flip out or anything..." Xiomara started, moving slightly behind Aberforth.

"Xiomara..." Poppy started dangerously.

"Okay...we, uh, were trying to brew a love potion," she answered in a very quiet voice.

"Xiomara Hooch! I know you haven't had a boyfriend in quite a few years, but really! And getting a student involved!" Poppy exclaimed.

"It wasn't for me!" she protested before she could stop herself. It would've been so much simpler if she just kept her mouth shut. She could've kicked herself. If Poppy found out, she'd tell Minerva and Xiomara would be as good as dead, blackmail or not.

"Oh? And who was it for? Him?" Poppy asked motioning to Aberforth. Aberforth shook his head. Despite being a walking Valentine, even Remus knew that if Aberforth answered, Madame Pomfrey would freak. He shook his head violently, but Aberforth seemed to be one of those guys who couldn't take a hint, subtle or not.

"No-" Aberforth's answer was cut short by Xiomara's hand over his mouth. She wasn't going to miss her small window of opportunity.

"What we meant was that it was for us. You know, one of those potions for couples. We were brewing it in one of the unused classrooms on the second floor and young Mr. Lupin was walking by when it exploded," She said quickly, followed by a blush. She couldn't believe she just said that she and the headmaster's brother were involved. The blush seemed to help the story along, though. She rarely blushed unless she was really nervous or embarrassed. Remus and Aberforth froze and stared.

"Really? And I don't suppose you were planning on telling me that you had a boyfriend, 'Mara? That's really something you should tell your friends. Hello, I'm Poppy. Who are you?" she inquired, extending her hand.

"Aberforth Dumbledore," he answered, shaking her hand. Madame Pomfrey froze and dropped the vial that would've cured Remus to the floor. Remus, knowing this potion would've helped him, leapt to the floor and started licking it. He did NOT want to be the poster boy for Valentines Day. Luckily enough, there was enough potion to lighten his face and turn his freckles into little brown hearts.

"The Headmaster's brother?!" Poppy exclaimed, very shocked. Xiomara was dating their boss's brother!

"Er, yeah. We met in that marvellous pub of his two weeks ago and really hit it off," Xiomara lied. She silently cursed the blush on her face. She looked like Remus did a few minutes ago.

"Yeah. Beautiful woman, your friend is," Aberforth commented, finally catching on. For effect he slipped his arm around Xiomara's waist. Xiomara's face now looked like a radish with a bad sunburn.

"Well, uh, I'm, er, happy for you, but I think Professor Dumbledore would appreciate it if you kept your relationship out of the castle," she gently reprimanded. Minerva would have a field day with this. Silently she wondered what it was about the Dumbledore brothers that drove her friends to them.

"No problemo. Hope your alright, lad. No hard feelings, eh?" Aberforth asked Remus. He shook his head.

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Meanwhile, back at the bathroom, the other four resumed brewing the potion.

"Do you think Madame Pomfrey will be able to sort Remus out?" Lily asked worriedly.

"Oh yeah. She's always been able to sort out Peter when his potions explode," James reassured her.

"But what if she asks what happened?" Lily asked.

"Don't worry, Aberforth and Hooch are there. They'll think of something," Sirius answered. They all looked at each other.

"We're screwed," James said.

"Definitely," Sirius agreed.

"If I hadn't of spilt that stuff..." Peter moaned. Everything was always his fault.

"Don't worry about it. It's just lucky the cauldron didn't explode. Anyways, by spilling that Rose Extract, you must have sped up the reaction process. I think it's ready," Lily said. She looked at the book to make sure. It was true. The True Loves Desire potion was completed. It was supposed to make the drinker seek out their true love.

"Awesome! You didn't totally screw up, Peter!" Sirius cheered. James passed her a couple of vials and watched her fill them.

"Now for the tricky part: getting McGonagall and Dumbledore to drink-," Lily said. She was interrupted when Xiomara, Aberforth, and Remus burst in laughing.

"That was close!" Xiomara gasped, ready to collapse from laughing so hard.

"Did you see her face?" Aberforth asked, holding her upright.

"That had to be the best lie I've ever heard and I've heard a lot!" A now semi-clear faced Remus joined in.

"What happened?" James demanded.

"Madame Pomfrey almost found out, but Aberforth and Madame Hooch said that the potion was for them. Her face was priceless!" Remus explained, abandoning all efforts of supporting himself and falling to the floor beside Peter. The other four stared at the three like they were insane.

"So she didn't find out?" Sirius asked. Aberforth shook his head and wiped tears of laughter out of his eyes.

"Well, if you three are done, the potion is ready. The only problem is getting them to drink it," Lily said. It appeared that they settled down a bit.

"If you can get some of it in on of these, Al'll be set," Aberforth said tossing a package of Sherbet Lemons onto the floor.

"Min likes Ginger Newts. If we could get some potion in that then we'll be fine," Xiomara answered.

"James and I have detention with McGonagall tomorrow night. We could slip it to her," Sirius offered. Lily rolled her eyes.

"Great. And I'll talk to Al tomorrow night and offer him a candy. There is no way he'll say 'no'," Aberforth agreed.

"The rest of us will stay here and wait," Remus told them.

"Tomorrow night is our time to shine!" James grinned placing his hand in the centre of the group. Everyone placed their hands on his. The plan was full-proof.

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The next night was like sending soldiers off to battle. Remus gave James, Sirius, and Aberforth their weapons of choice: 'The Love Cookie' and 'The Love Candy'. At ten to six, they were preparing to leave.

"A kiss for luck, Lily?" James asked hopefully. She glared at him.

"You won't need luck for this. Any moron could set a cookie on a desk," she said in a low voice, leaving James with a somewhat deflated ego. He could hear Aberforth and Sirius snickering behind his back.

"Here's how you do it, son," Aberforth whispered to James, and then loudly to everyone else, "It's customary for women to send off their men with a kiss. How about it, Xiomara?" he asked, grinning childishly. She gaped at him. What was with Dumbledores and quirky, unexpected surprises?

"Your not my _man_, Aberforth. You are more or less a little boy. Grow up and maybe I'll think about it. Right now, you have a task at hand," she answered. He stood gaping at her while the others stood around them, thinking the exact same thing: Were Aberforth and Xiomara flirting?

The thoughts vanished as Xiomara shooed them out the door. James and Sirius grinned at their companion.

"Yeah, Aberforth. You sure showed me," James grinned before he and Sirius disappeared to go to McGonagall's classroom.

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AN: what do you all think of that? first off i'd like to say thank you to hahaha-evil for offering the name of the potion they were supposed to brew. and i'd like to say happy birthday to Silver Sorceress. well, thats all. please review. i am going to really like writing that next chapter.


	5. The Potion's Effects

AN: and now to get on with this story. this is going to make u chuckle a bit...not as much as the next chapter, though...

Disclaimer: Don't own any HP characters.

**Payback**

**Ch 5: The Potion's Effects**

At six o'clock sharp, Sirius and James strolled in for their detention, ready to activate the plan.

"You will be writing lines. Mr. Black in this corner and Mr. Potter, you go sit over there," Professor McGonagall ordered.

"Aww, Professor, come off it. We didn't mean to cover him in soap suds!" Sirius groaned (AN: ten points for the person who can tell me who got covered in soap suds). He knew she wouldn't let them off. It was just a diversion. While Sirius was getting told off, James dropped a potion-filled Ginger Newt into the tin on the desk. Then they sat down and pretended to write. For the good part of a half-hour James and Sirius watched her mark tests until finally, she ate the 'Love Cookie' as Sirius called it. Her eyes went dreamy and seemed to go into a trance. The boys exchanged glances. Time to watch the fireworks.

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"Hello, dear brother. How are you this fine evening?" Aberforth asked. Albus looked up and smiled.

"I'm fine. What are you doing here? I thought you had a pub to run," Albus asked. It wasn't like Aberforth to visit him during the week.

"Does a man need a reason to see his favorite older brother?" Aberforth countered, "I was just in the neighbourhood and decided to drop in."

"Just in the neighbourhood, eh? Were you with a certain flying instructor before you walked in here?" Albus asked, his twinkle more pronounced. He had to thank Minerva for telling him what Poppy told her about Aberforth. Way too much amunition. He couldn't resist teasing him.

"H-How do you know about that?" Aberforth asked, silently cursing the blush creeping onto his face. Okay, so Xiomara was quite good-looking and was fun to be around, and maybe they had said that they were a couple to fool Poppy, but that didn't mean he had to blush about it, right?

"Word travels fast around here. Brewing a love potion on the second floor. Abe, you naughty, naughtly boy. What else have you two been doing in my castle?" Albus asked, grinning. Ah, payback was sweet. Aberforth decided that for his own sake, he had to turn this around.

"What you and Minerva McGonagall haven't been doing," he said smugly. He chuckled at the look of shock on his brother's face.

"Aberforth!" Albus cried.

"Don't worry, Al. Your little secret's safe with me," Aberforth grinned as he took out his bag of candy, "Sherbet Lemon?" he offered. Albus took the 'Love candy' as Aberforth so cleverly named it, and popped it into his mouth. His eyes got all dazed and his expression relaxed. Aberforth leaned back in his chair. Time to sit back and watch the fireworks.

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After Aberforth, James, and Sirius left, the others decided to wait for them in the bathroom. Peter was losing very badly at the chess match he and Xiomara were playing, while Lily read a book, and Remus did his potions homework.

"OH MY GOD!" Remus suddenly exclaimed. The others looked at him.

"What's wrong?" Lily asked. He threw his book on the floor and pointed to a page.

"Look at this! All of you!" he cried. Peter and Xiomara joined them as they read:

_The composition of the **Potion of Lust** is very similar to the **True Loves Desire **potion. The only main difference is that the recipe calls for a litre of Rose Extract rather than the half it takes to brew the **True Loves Desire **potion. One who drinks the **Potion of Lust **will be compelled to seek out a member of the opposite gender and engage in the physical aspects of love or lust. The effects of this potion usually last for 12 hours, but in rare cases it may last a few hours extra, but never exceeding 24. _

"Tell me that doesn't mean what I think it means," Xiomara swallowed. Remus nodded.

"Peter knocked a litre of Rose Extract into the potion. We made the Potion of Lust," Lily said, paleing.

"And gave it to our teachers," Remus added, hardly daring to breathe.

"What about Aberforth and Sirius and James?" Peter asked.

"If Aberforth can't restrain Dumbledore, then the schools in trouble. If McGonagall took the potion, James and Sirius are in trouble," Remus replied grimly.

"What are we all doing standing here? Madame Hooch and I will go rescue Sirius and James and Remus and Peter will help Aberforth restrain Dumbledore. Move it people!" Lily barked.

"Yes ma'am!" they all filed out of the washroom and in their set directions.

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James grinned across the room at Sirius. At any moment their professor would hunt down Dumbledore and their jobs would be over. Instead, Minerva blinked and looked around the room. Then she looked from Sirius to James and back again. Finally she 'accidently' dropped her quill.

"Could one of you retrieve my quill for me?" she asked. It wasn't in her normal crisp tone, but a husky one. James raised his eyebrows at Sirius, who, as the closest one to the desk, got up and bent over to pick up the quill and handed it to her.

"Why, thank you, Sirius. Fifty points to Gryffindor," she said, smiling sweetly. Sirius nearly fell over in disbelief. What did Lily and Remus put in that potion? James, on the other hand, witnessed the whole thing. He saw that from McGonagall's angle, she had a very good view of Sirius's backside. What the hell was going on?

"Er...what for, Professor?" he asked, thuroughly confused.

"For having such a delicious looking body, of course!" she exclaimed as though it was obvious. James fell out of his chair, while Sirius stood gaping at her.

"Uh...um...I...er...don't think that's...er...appropriate..." he stammered, but she didn't seem to notice.

"I've always fancied Quidditch players. I never really had much of an intrest for beaters, though. I've always found them to be a bit too _rough_. Although, in your case, Mr. Black, I could probably make an exception," she purred, advancing on him. He lept back and collided painfully with a desk. James got up to help his friend, but froze when she saw him.

"And, yet, I've always _loved_ seekers," she said, looking directly at James now.

"But...uh...what about Hogwarts Headmasters? They...er...are much more...uh...popular with you transfiguration teachers!" James tried, already planning his exit. It was only about a twenty-foot drop out the window. Madame Pomfrey could sort him out. She completely ignored him and started towards him. If there is a God, you'll stop her! I swear I'll never lay a wand on Snivellous again! He prayed. He wished. He hoped. Then there was a loud knock on the door.

This was enough to make Minerva answer it. James thanked every God he knew.

"Professor McGonagall. I was wondering if-" Severus Snape's voice was cut of by Minerva's husky one.

"I'm sorry, Mr. Snape, but I am rather busy at the moment. If you could stop by tommorow," she said, closing the door rather forcefully on his abnormally large nose. Sirius ran over to James's side and was cowering behind him.

"I swear, I'll kill them for this!" Sirius declared.

"Be thankfull we aren't with Dumbledore," James muttered as both of them took simultanious steps back when McGonagall stepped foreward.

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Albus blinked three times before rising from his desk. Aberforth grinned as he watched his brother rise and exit the room. He followed, not wanting to miss anything. Just as he stepped off the stone staircase, he was literally knocked over by Remus and Peter.

"What are you doing here? I thought everyone was staying back at Moaning Myrtle's," he asked, puzzled.

"Where's Dumbledore? Tell me you didn't let him leave the office!" Remus exclaimed.

"Yeah. I was just going to follow him. What's the big deal?" Aberforth asked.

"Peter actually did botch the potion. Instead of making The True Love's Desire potion, we made the Potion of Lust. Your brother is going to find the first female he sees and er...do something very inappropriate to her," Remus explained.

"Clarify 'inappropriate' for me so I can get a clearer picture," Aberforth ordered. Peter's ears turned bright red.

"Er...something that possibly make you an uncle," Remus tried, hoping he got the hint.

"Huh?" Aberforth scratched his head in puzzlement. Remus felt a twinge of unease.

"Er...you know. Lust type things," Remus said, blushing.

"Just tell me!" Aberforth groaned. Remus, really blushing, now, felt it would be quicker to just say it.

"Sex, Aberforth. If we don't stop him, he could get a very bad reputaion. Where did he go?" he asked.

"SEX?" Aberforth exclaimed, horrified at the very thought.

"Yes! Now, where did he go?" Remus asked, feeling like he was talking to a three-year-old. Aberforth took off in the direction of McGonagalls office, while Peter and Remus followed in hot pursuit.

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"Do you think they are alright?" Lily asked as she and Xiomara sprinted to McGonagall's office.

"Knowing Min, they're probably scared out of their minds," Xiomara said grimly.

"Great. Just great," Lily muttered.

"Maybe you should've kissed him," Xiomara joked.

"I'd rather kiss the giant squid," Lily said, turning to glare at Xiomara. Finally, they reached the office door. Without hesitating, they flung it open and looked inside.

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They were done for. McGonagall looked as if she was about to eat them alive. James whimpered pitiously. Somehow she had backed them into the corner.

"It's been nice knowing you, Sirius," he gulped.

"Right back at you, James," Sirius said fearfully. Both of them closed their eyes. She was almost to them.

"Stupefy!"

They dared open their eyes. Instead of seeing a very lust-filled McGonagall, they saw Lily and Xiomara with her wand out-stretched.

"It's alright, boys. She's stunned," Xiomara grinned, helping them up.

"What the bloody hell was that?" Sirius asked.

"Peter actaully did screw up the potion. Instead of making a love potion, we made a potion that makes the drinker want to...you know," Lily explained, blushing.

"That was the scariest thing ever! I swear I'll never get detention with McGonagall again!" James declared. Their laughter was interupted by the sound of the door opening. They turned to see Professor Dumbldore standing there. He looked around and his eyes landed on Xiomara.

Then in one fluid motion, he crossed the room and kissed her deeply on the lips. They all gasped, too stunned to do anything.

"Stupefy!" Aberforth's voice shouted. Xiomara froze and fell over.

"Stupefy!" this time it was Remus who shouted the spell. His aim was true. The headmaster was knocked to the gound. Aberforth turned to revive Xiomara. Remus was pleased to see he could do it at close range without screwing up. When she opened her eyes, she met the bright blue ones of Aberforth Dumbldore.

"If you kiss anything like... Hey! Wait a minute! You STUNNED me!" she shouted.

"Er...I was aiming for Al. Guess I was a little off?" he answered weakly.

"A LITTLE?" she asked glaring.

"Sorry?" he offered. They didn't hear her mumbled reply, but the next thing they knew, Aberforth had sprouted donkey ears. They nearly doubled over laughing.

"That look suits you, Aberforth!" James roared.

"Funny. Albus usually prefers goat ears, but I suppose this works, too," he shrugged.

"Speaking of your brother, what do we do about him and McGonagall?" Lily asked, staring down at their unconcious forms.

"Um...anyone have any ideas?" he asked.

"Well, will they remember what they did?" Xiomara asked.

"We sure will!" Sirius and James echoed at the same time.

"They shouldn't. Why?" Remus asked.

"Well, I have an idea..." she said, grinning impishly.

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"Do you think we should revive them?" Peter asked. It was around seven o'clock the next morning. Twelve hours after Minerva and Albus took the potion.

"What if they are still under the effects of the potion?" James asked worriedly. Lily couldn't surpress a giggle.

"What? You wouldn't be laughing if she looked at you like that!" he snorted indignantly.

"Give it a rest, you two. Want to try, Remus?" Aberforth asked.

"Why not?" Remus said.

"James could be right, though. What if it's a 24-hour thing?" Peter asked.

"When have you ever known James to be right?" Lily asked.

"I agree with Peter and James!" Sirius exclaimed. Remus sighed. Might as well do it the diplomatic way.

"All in favor of not reviving them?" he asked. As expected, James, Sirius, and Peter raised their hands.

"All in favor of reviving them?" he asked. Lily, Xiomara, Aberforth, and himself all raised their hands.

"Ha! Four against three! Let's revive them Remus!"Aberforth pulled out his wand triumphintly. One the count of three, Aberforth and Remus revived them while James and Sirius backed away.

"Huh? Where am I?" Minerva asked, looking around her bedroom before realizing where she was. Somewhere beside her came Albus's voice.

"What's going on? Why do you have donkey ears, Aberforth?" he asked, sounding generally confused. She didn't dare look to where she heard his voice.

"Er...long story," Aberforth replied grinning. It was taking them a really long time to notice where they were.

"Um, how did we get here?" Albus asked, looking down at the woman in his arms with a red face and a somewhat embarassed expression.

"Odd story, actually. While I was with you in your office, you seemed to pass out. Really freaked me out, Al," Aberforth answered.

"And when we were in detention with you, Professor, you sort of fainted right over your desk. We found the first teacher we could find," Sirius lied, but he obviously was relieved that the effects of the potion were over with.

"Er, thanks," Minerva said, moving to get up. Albus followed in suit. Aberforth didn't need to say it. The whole reason he was in Minerva's bed was Aberforth's doing. He would make him pay for this.

"Um, Aberforth, would you come with me back to my office? I have something to discuss with you," he said. Then after bidding goodbye to Minerva and her Gryffindors, he practically dragged Aberforth back to the office.

"So. How are you feeling Al?" Aberforth asked.

"Embarassed. I don't suppose you have any idea how I collapsed in my office and wound up in Minerva's bed with Minerva in my arms?" he inquired.

"Nope. None at all," Aberforth grinned, clearing his mind, then he said, "But I bet it felt good, waking up in her arms."

"Aberforth-"

"You two didn't seem to want to move," he teased.

"I swear, brother or not, I will add a tail to those ears," Albus threatened. Aberforth paled slightly.

"Well, I ought to be going. Got a pub to run!" he said, running out the door, a hair to late to dodge his brother's spell. He was really starting to look like an ass. He had to do something drastic, fast.

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AN: Now you have no idea what they're up to. scary, huh? Poor james and sirius.


	6. A New Plan

AN: finally some inspiration.

Disclaimer: Don't own any HP characters.

**Payback**

**Ch 6: A New Plan**

When Xiomara met Aberforth and the Marauders-plus-one in the courtyard two days later, she had to smirk at Aberforth's newly acquired tale.

"Albus didn't take the whole 'bed thing' well, did he?" she asked. Silently, she thanked every god she knew for not letting Minerva give her any animal parts.

"Understatement of the year," he mumbled, "You seem to have gotten off pretty easy."

"Are you kidding? My ears are still ringing from Minerva's _gentle_ reprimands!" she exclaimed. She wouldn't have been surprised if the entire country heard Minerva's screams of fury.

"At least you don't have a tail," Aberforth sighed, "I hope somebody knows a counter curse."

"Let me try. _Finite Incatatem!_" James tried. Nothing happened. "Well it was worth a shot," he shrugged.

"I guess you'll just have to wait until we get Dumbledore and McGonagall together," Remus shrugged, "Sorry, Aberforth."

"Well, let's hurry. At the rate we're going, I'm going to be as old as Albus by the time we get them together...and that's quite an age gap. Our parents had us about 12 years apart," Aberforth commented, "Guess Dad was glad when Al got accepted into Hogwarts."

"Aberforth, we really didn't need to know that," Peter said, shaking his head.

"It wasn't that bad. Albus actually took care of me after Mum and Dad died when I was sixteen. They were aurors," he continued.

"Sorry," They all echoed at the same time.

"It's okay. We got really close. That and his girlfriends usually had younger sisters so we double-dated a few times," he shrugged. James suddenly clapped his hand on his head.

"Hey! I just thought of something!" he exclaimed.

"What?" they asked together.

"A double date!"

"A what?"

"Aberforth and Madame Hooch will invite our dear professors out on a double date!" he explained, grinning.

"What? Why us?" Xiomara yelped. Minerva would kill her for even suggesting such a thing.

"A) Thanks to Madame Pomfrey, both of them think you're involved romantically. B) It's weird for students to go on a date with their teachers. C) Madame Hooch is kind of like McGonagall's sister from a different mother. And D) Unless Aberforth wants to remain a jackass for the rest of his life, he'll do this," James answered.

"Can't we just give them more of the Potion of Lust and lock them in a room together?" Xiomara whimpered.

"NO!" James and Sirius both yelled.

"I'm not that bad!" Aberforth protested, a tiny bit insulted.

"Do you realize what we would have to do on this date?" she asked, not believing that he could be so incredibly slow.

"I'll do whatever it takes to lose the tail and ears and get my brother a date!"

"You would have to act like a gentleman!"

"I'm not an ape, Xiomara."

"Hold hands!"

"How will I ever do that?" Aberforth asked sarcastically. To prove his point, he grabbed Xiomara's hand.

"Flirt!"

"You guys do that quite often," Sirius inserted.

"What he said! Hey, wait a min-"

"Hug!"

"We do not flirt, Sirius. And I think I'm perfectly capable of hugging a person," Aberforth said as he gave her a quick hug.

"Kiss!" Her eyes widened as he planted a quick kiss on her lips.

"Er, sorry. Wasn't thinking," he mumbled, shifting his gaze.

"Er, right," she said slowly, touching the spot where he kissed. Then, regaining her composure, she continued, "You don't understand. Min would kill me for even suggesting it."

"Come to think of it, Al would probably finish off the transformation," Aberforth added softly.

"Come on, you guys! I thought you wanted to get them together!" Peter whined.

"But-"

"Don't worry about it! Third time is a charm," Lily tried.

"And this way, you could be there when it happens," Remus added hopefully.

"And it's not often when James comes up with a good idea," Sirius begged.

"I'll ignore that, Sirius," James growled.

"What do you say, Xiomara?" Aberforth asked, "If you do it, then I will, but if you don't, we could always find another way."

"Do we have any other options?" she asked. They all shook their heads.

"Then what are we waiting for?"

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"Hey, Min. What are you doing?" Xiomara asked as she strolled into her friend's office. She had a death wish coming. Minerva looked up from her book and glared like she always did when her friends used her hated nickname.

"Don't call me 'Min'. What do you want?" she asked, looking back to her book.

"To invite you to dinner with me and Aberforth on Friday night to apologize for putting Albus in your bed," Xiomara said, eyeing the exits warily.

"Do you have to bring that up?" Minerva asked with a pained look in her eyes.

"It was a joke, but we were wrong to do it. If its any consolation, my boyfriend now has a tail," she answered.

"How did you get off Scott free?" Minerva asked suspiciously. Poppy and her were always the ones to conjure up an excuse when the four of them broke the rules when they were young. Xiomara and Sylvia just weren't capable of lying or thinking of good excuses.

"Aberforth said it was all his idea. Honestly, Min. Those Dumbledore brothers are good men," she said, "So what do you say to dinner?"

"I'd say I'd feel like I would be a third wheel," Minerva sighed. It was always that way. Poppy had Alastor, Sylvia had her muggle husband, and now Xiomara had Aberforth. All she had were fantasies about a man who could never love her.

"No you wouldn't. Abe said that he could conjure up somebody to make you not feel like a third wheel," Xiomara assured her.

"Oh really? Who?" she asked.

"Uh, well, he's quite a gentleman at the young and tender age of 136," Xiomara said nervously.

"ALBUS!" Minerva shouted.

"Er, this dinner was supposed to be so we could apologize profusely for the embarrassment we caused you both," she explained quickly. _My, she was awful quick to say Albus' name._

"I can't go to dinner with Albus Dumbledore!" Minerva cried.

"You didn't mind eating that picnic lunch with him," Xiomara commented dryly.

"How do you know about that?" Minerva asked suspiciously.

"How could anyone not know from that stupid little schoolgirl smile on your face when you returned?" she lied, "Come on, Min! We feel really bad! Please!"

"No."

"Fine. Not my fault if I 'accidentally' let it slip that you love him and would love nothing better than to spend the rest of your life with him," Xiomara grinned.

"You can't use that every time you want me to do something," Minerva mumbled.

"Wanna bet?" Xiomara ginned. She'd won and she knew it.

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"Ah, my good brother, Albus. How are you?" Aberforth asked as he strolled into his brother's office.

"Go away, Aberforth," Albus said, not even looking up from his papers.

"Look, I'm sorry," he said, "and I want to make it up to you."

"Can you reverse time?"

"No."

"Then you can't make it up to me," Albus sighed, gazing momentarily at Aberforth before turning back to his work.

"Al, come on it was a JOKE! I know I was stupid to do it, but come on, Albus! You know I don't think before I act!" Aberforth shouted, trying to drill some sense into him.

"Yes, very funny. Hilarious. You embarrassed me in front of the only woman whose opinion matters and caused her much embarrassment in the process. She probably thinks I came up with it. I wouldn't be surprised if she hates me forever, now," he cried, standing up.

"Have you told her it was my bone-headed idea?" Aberforth asked gently, realizing that Albus was really upset.

"No," he admitted, staring at his feet. He couldn't even look her in the eye without turning red.

"Then you can at dinner on Friday," Aberforth told him.

"What?"

"Allow me and Xiomara to take you and Minerva out for dinner, my treat, and make it up to you both. Sort of like the good ol' days when we used to double date. Remember that, Al?" he asked, grinning.

"I'm too old for that," Albus said, smiling slightly at a memory of Aberforth while they took two prim and proper sisters to their uncle's goat farm. Only Aberforth could botch alohamora and turn his date into a goat.

"Love knows no age. Besides, your never to old for dinner, right?"

"Abe-"

"Please!" Aberforth gave his brother the puppy-dog eyes.

"Alright, fine. But if you say anything about my feelings for Minerva, I know I can find uses for a donkey," Albus threatened.

"I have no intention of remaining a jack-ass for the rest of my life."

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Friday came too quickly for everyone's liking...well almost everyone. Despite spending the rest of the week helping Xiomara and Aberforth learn to act more like a couple (As Sirius said, "it wasn't that difficult"), the Marauders and Lily were more than a little excited. The Double-daters, however, were nervous wrecks and Aberforth's jokes didn't help any.

"Why'd the goat cross the road?"

"To give you a good kick up the arse," Xiomara muttered after they rehearsed the date one last time in her rooms.

"Sorry, dear. Wrong answer. He crossed the road to-"

"Aberforth, I care about this much!" Xiomara groaned, indicating how much with her thumb and forefinger.

"Sorry. Thought it might help lighten the mood," he shrugged.

"_Honey_, why don't you go lighten the mood in Albus's office and Min and I can meet you downstairs?" she suggested, rubbing her temples.

"Yes, _Dear_," he mimicked her tone and stalked off to his brother's rooms. When he entered them, however, he was met by his brother sitting on a pile of clothes in nothing but his underwear.

"Al, I hope you aren't going to dinner dressed like that," he commented.

"I can't do this!" Albus moaned burying his head in his hands.

"Sure you can. You have enough robes to choose from," Aberforth said.

"That's not what I meant!" Albus glared at his brother.

"You'll be fine, Al. We'll just take this one little baby step at a time. First you need to get dressed," Aberforth said picking up a set of blue robes that went with Albus's eyes, and thrusting them at him.

"Okay," Albus gulped.

"So, Al, why did the goat cross the road?"

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The Marauders and Lily watched from behind one of the hourglasses in the Entrance Hall as the Double-Daters met at six o'clock.

"Well, should we get going?" they heard Aberforth ask cheerfully.

"Good idea, Darling," Xiomara said, smiling sweetly.

"Shall we?" Aberforth asked, walking over and extending his arm to Xiomara. On his way to her, he indistinctively whispered to Albus, "You're drooling."

Indeed, the headmaster had to wipe his mouth before he spoke, "Shall we, Minerva?"

"Of course, Albus," she said, taking his out-stretched arm. The students actually gasped when they saw her. Instead of her emerald-green robes, she was wearing a navy blue dress that went excellently with his robes and her hair was gasps down. And then they disappeared through the doors.

"No wonder he was drooling," Sirius commented, his eyebrows raised.

"It's a shame we won't get to see them get together," Lily sighed.

"Lily, darling, where there's a will, the Marauders will always find a way," James said, grinning. Sirius smirked.

"He called her 'darling'. Our little Jamesie is finally growing up." This earned him a well-deserved kick.

"What do you mean?" Lily asked over Sirius's curses.

"Let's just say we know a few secret passageways out of the castle. Are you in?" Remus asked.

"Won't we get caught?"

"Not unless you say anything," James said.

"I'm not saying I approve of this, but I do want to see what happens," she admitted, "Lead the way, James." He smiled crookedly. It was the first time she addressed him by his first name not followed by 'detention'.

"I think we've had a bad influence on her," Peter muttered.

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AN: I leave it here cuz...well...cuz i feel like it. don't worry, i'll be quicker with updates cuz i'm on a well-deserved (ya, right) break from school. kool, eh?


	7. Dinner, Wardrobe Malfunctions NOT the Ja...

AN: I AM SOOOO SORRY! between computer malfunctions, essays, and serious writers block, i didn't have time. I am so sorry and I hope that this chapter make it up to u.

Disclaimer: Don't own any HP characters.

**Payback**

**Ch 6: Dinner, Wardrobe Malfunctions (NOT the Janet Jackson kind), and a New Couple**

Aberforth and Xiomara couldn't help but lapse into silent giggles as they walked ahead of Albus and Minerva. Until now, Xiomara never could envision the almighty Albus Dumbledore drooling like a little puppy dog.

"Nice touch on Minerva's hair," Aberforth whispered in her ear.

"It took a lot of blackmail," she assured him, turning to smile at him. She found herself only mere centimetres from his own face. Were his eyes really that blue?

"I'll bet," he whispered, swallowing and turning to watch the sidewalk ahead of them.

Meanwhile his brother was in great need of a glass of water as he walked arm in arm with Minerva McGonagall. Somehow all his saliva had disappeared from his mouth (whether it was because it somehow evaporated or that most of it was on his sleeve was anybody's guess).

"You look beautiful," he finally uttered. That was a lie. She was ravishing, wonderful, lovely, special...there weren't enough words in the world to describe how she looked to him that night...or any other time for that matter.

"Thank you, Albus. You look rather smart yourself," she replied. She didn't see him turn red at her compliment.

"Thank you," he said, then more loudly to his brother, "So where are you taking us, Aberforth?"

"Oh! Uh, this little French place that just opened up in the village," Aberforth answered, sounding as if her was just yanked out of a daze. As long as the restaurant didn't have goats running around, Albus wasn't complaining.

The little French place, better known as _Aimer_, didn't have goats running around, but it did have several couples eating, talking, flirting, dancing, and snogging each other senseless. Albus couldn't believe it.

"Err, Abe-"

"Cozy little place, isn't it?" Aberforth asked. He was suddenly very aware of the couples around him.

"Right. Cozy," Albus muttered, following Aberforth, Xiomara, and Minerva to a table.

"So, do you two come here often?" Minerva asked, trying to make conversation.

"Actually this is the first time we've tried _Aimer_. Usually we have a moon-lit picnic out on one of the mountain cliffs. Aberforth is very romantic," Xiomara lied.

"Is he now?" Albus asked with raised eyebrows. Never had he heard his brother's name and 'romantic' in the same sentence.

"Oh, yes," and because that didn't sound very convincing, Xiomara tagged along one of her more milder fantasies, "On our two week anniversary, he surprised me with a moonlit picnic out on one of the docks by the lake." Aberforth shot a quick look at her. He didn't remember rehearsing that.

"Uh, yep, that's me. Spontaneous and romantic," he added, giving a sheepish grin, and then he decided he needed a drastic change of topic, "So, Minerva, uh, you teach transfiguration, right? How's that going for you?"

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"Ouch! I can't see!" Peter exclaimed, jumping up and down behind his friends.

"Shut up, Peter! You'll get us found out!" Sirius hissed.

"Stop bickering. I'm getting a headache," Remus groaned. The mauraders and Lily stood outside of _Aimer_, each struggling to see through the window to where Aberforth and their professors were dining.

"So how did you lot know about that secret passage?" Lily asked.

"The Maurauders know all, Lily. I believe that we discovered it when we were running from Pringle and his apprentice, Filch," James answered, thinking back.

"Why were you running from them?" Lily asked, dreading the answer.

"We flooded the boys' bathroom," he shrugged.

"If our headmaster doesn't slow down on the water, the same thing will happen to _Aimer_'s bathroom," Sirius observed. Indeed, Albus was guzzling down his seventh glass of water.

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"I can't believe it, Al, seven... no eight glasses of water in less than an hour!" Aberforth exclaimed. Albus finished the glass and shrugged before he reached for the pitcher on the table.

"My throats a little dry," he answered.

"A little?" Aberforth raised an eyebrow.

"Could you pass that this way, Albus? I'm rather thirsty myself," Minerva requested. He nodded mutely, losing himself in Minerva's beauty for the thousandth time that night. The last time that happened, he poked himself in the nose with his fork.

"Al! The glass!" Aberforth shouted, pointing to the now overflowing glass the Albus was filling.

"Sorry! I spaced out for a second there!" Albus said sheepishly, mopping up the table. Then he picked up the pitcher and made to pass it to Minerva, but wound up spilling his own glass all over himself! He yelped and jumped up, using a napkin in attempt to dry himself, to no avail. Aberforth spluttered and was leaning on the table to support his laughter, while Xiomara had to grab a napkin to keep her wine from spraying out her nose. At least Minerva wasn't laughing.

"Here, use this, Albus," she suggested, handing him a lace handkerchief. Unfortunately he still looked like he had wet himself.

"Thanks, Minerva. It's not funny, you two!" Albus scolded his brother and the flying instructor.

"Wanna bet?" Aberforth asked between gasps. Albus kicked him under the table.

"Sorry, Albus," Xiomara said weakly, still smirking. Silence fell and looking around, Xiomara knew that it would fall upon her to break it. She knew just the way. She elbowed Aberforth in the ribs.

"Ow! What?" he hissed in her ear. He was sure his shin was bruised and now he had a pain in his side.

"Come dance with me," she requested, nodding towards the dance floor. He winced. Dancing was his sore spot.

"Why?"

"Monkey see, monkey do," she whispered back. He shook his head.

"I have two left feet," he tried.

"Well, I have two right feet," she countered, "Please," she said, topping it off with a puppy-dog face. How could he say 'no'?

"Don't say I didn't warn you," he muttered, before getting up and offering her his hand. Soon they were revolving slowly on the spot.

"Ouch!"

"Told you so," he said triumphantly. She glared at him.

Meanwhile, back at the table, Albus was trying to get a hold of his tongue. Surely he could ask his deputy to dance? Was it that so hard?

Yes. Yes, it was.

"Minervadoyouwannadance?" he said quickly. He blushed.

"Could you say that any faster?" she teased.

"Do you want to dance?" he said again, deliberately taking 5 seconds between each word. She laughed.

"I'd love to," she smiled, still blushing. He led her to the dance floor where Xiomara and Aberforth started to giggle.

"Monkey see, monkey do," Xiomara grinned triumphantly.

"You're right. They do sorta look like monkeys," Aberforth said thoughtfully. She shook her head.

"If this keeps up, we won't even have to take them to the other place," she said, inwardly crossing her fingers.

"Uh uh. Albus can barely function. I can beat him," Aberforth said stubbornly.

"You couldn't beat a fly," she countered.

"I beat you!" he protested.

"That was because I wasn't trying," she stated.

"Then try tonight and I'll still beat you," he said matter-of-factly.

"Wanna bet?" she asked dangerously.

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"STRIKE!" Aberforth shouted, dancing like a maniac on the lane.

"If you are going to beat me, Aberforth, at least do it with dignity," Xiomara winced at her 'boyfriend's' antics.

"Then get up here and out-bowl me," he ordered, stepping aside and taking a seat beside Albus.

"So why are we bowling again?" Albus whispered.

"Lovers often spend their first dates at a bowling alley," Aberforth said, giving his brother a swift wink.

"Implying wh-"

"YES!" Xiomara shrieked, causing everyone in the vicinity to look at her. Indeed, she had matched his last throw and was jumping up and down.

"What happened to dignity?" Minerva muttered. Xiomara just grinned.

"Albus, your turn," she said, sitting between Aberforth and Minerva. Albus picked up a ball, lined up a shot, and made to throw the ball. Unfourtunately, the ball slipped out of his sweaty palms, narrowly missing his right foot, again causing the other bowlers to look in the direction of their lane.

"Err...sorry," he muttered sheepishly. He was absolutely mortified and Aberforth's laughter didn't help.

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"That, lady and gentlemen, is our ever so talented Headmaster," James said, rolling his eyes.

"Cut him some slack. He's just nervous," Lily defended. From their hiding spot beside the washrooms, they were perfect watching distance without being to close. That and they had easy access to the washrooms, which was where Sirius was now.

"Yeah. You always make a fool out of yourself when-" Peter was cut off by James's hand over his mouth.

"That bowling ball would've hurt and maybe ruined the evening," Remus commented.

"Not necessarily. Yes, it would hurt, but McGonagall would be ever so concerned about darling Albus," James simpered in an unusually high voice. Lily rolled her eyes.

"Right, well I think I'm going to use the restroom," Albus's voice carried over to where the were sitting. Everyone paled, with James looking wildly around for a place to hide. Under the table wouldn't work...they knew their Headmaster wasn't stupid. Suddenly James saw his one chance of escape.

"Quick! Follow me!" He hissed, motioning to the door to the left of the men's washroom.

"No way, James!" Peter protested, only to be dragged through the door by Lily.

"Don't be stupid. You just spent two days in Moaning Myrtle's washroom. At least this one doesn't have a ghost haunting it," She scolded once they were safely inside, annoyed by Peter's reluctance to hiding in the girls washroom. Really, it wasn't any different from the boys washroom, was it?

"Woa, you lot have actual towels? The men's bathroom only has paper towel!" James muttered indignantly, poking the pink fabric.

"It's because ladies are more dignified-"

"Oh no!" Remus gasped, interrupting Lily.

"What?" the other three chorused.

"Sirius is still in the men's toilet. He doesn't know Dumbledore is coming!" Remus explained, paling.

"Oh shit," James muttered, and then at Lily's glare he added, "-tami mushrooms."

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Sirius was just washing his hands when he heard very familiar humming. He looked around, frantically, his eyes finally landed on the huge garbage bin in the corner. Without an ounce of thought he dove into it, covering himself with paper towel. Indeed he heard the Headmaster's footsteps as he went about his business and stood at the sink, washing his hands.

"This was such a bad idea," Albus sighed to himself, "She probably thinks I'm just some big klutz, now. First the water and now this. Why do I mess up every single time she looks at me?" he said, then Sirius heard him open the door and leave. Quite awkwardly, he tried to get out of the can, but wound up tipping it.

"James will have a field day if he ever finds out about this," he muttered under his breath.

"Ah, and that he will," James's all to familiar voice said. Two seconds later, he was being pulled out of his messy refuge by his friends.

"Why did you hide in the garbage?" Remus asked, "I would've hid in the cubicle if I was trapped in a bathroom."

Sirius slapped his head in agony. Why didn't he think of that? Now he was covered in paper towel.

"Don't ask," he muttered, picking paper off of him. Then he led the way back outside, in a very foul mood indeed.

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When Albus returned from the washroom, it was Minerva's turn to bowl. She picked up a ball and rather awkwardly moved to throw it. She made a mental note for next time to find out just what they'd be up to on one of these little outings so she could wear something that she could move in. The elegant dress Xiomara had conned her into wearing was not that something.

_RIPP!_ Just as Minerva let go of the ball, her dress ripped at the back, revealing her underwear for the whole world and Albus to see! There was a collective gasp from her friends as she tried to cover herself up.

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"I see London, I see France, I see Minnie's underpants!" Sirius chorused, feeling slightly better about the whole garbage thing.

"Shut up, Sirius!" Lily scolded, "It's not her fault. Oh, that must be awful! Poor Professor McGonagall!"

"At least Dumbledore's being a gentleman about it. And at least Aberforth and Madam Hooch aren't laughing," Remus said, as he watched Albus offer his coat to her. Then the adults hurriedly paid for the bowling and left.

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"Look at the bright side, Min, you got a strike," Xiomara tried weakly to cheer her up as they walked back to the castle.

"What a bright side. And don't call me 'Min'," Minerva snapped sarcastically. She was mortified beyond belief.

"If it makes you feel any better, Albus almost broke his foot," Aberforth tried, feeling slightly at fault for this. He had dragged her and Albus on this disaster. How could every single thing go wrong? A new couple was supposed to come out of this, not broken feet or ripped dresses.

Minerva didn't reply, she just kept her head down and kept walking. Albus had to do something. He turned around to walk backwards so he could face her.

"Hey, that wasn't nearly as bad as my first speech as Headmaster. I thought I'd never get over _that_," he said, wincing at the memory. For the first time since the wardrobe malfunction, she smiled. Albus had been so nervous when he had to make his very first speech to the school. He actually repeated everything eleven times, stuttered enough to rival a certain future professor, and forgot to summon the food, resulting in a Hufflepuff first-year fainting. Minerva never let him forget it.

"That is true," she agreed. Every time afterwards, he got Minerva to kick him under the table if he ever rambled on like that again.

Before they knew it, they were back at the castle standing in the Entrance Hall.

"Well, I think I'll call it a night," Albus said, turning to ascend the stone steps.

"Me, too," Minerva agreed.

"Are you sure?" Aberforth asked. He didn't want the evening to be a total failure. "We could play 'I've never...' or 'Truth or Dare' or maybe you prefer 'Spin the Bottle'. How about 'Strip Poker'?" He tried.

"Goodnight, Aberforth. Xiomara," Albus said in a tone with such finality that Aberforth knew not to argue. Then a few seconds later Xiomara and Aberforth stood alone in the dark hall.

"Well, I guess I'll go. See you later," Aberforth said, turning to exit though the doors.

"Aberforth, wait," Xiomara called to him. He turned around. "If you really wanted to, we could have a short game of 'I've never...'. I've got some Fire Whiskey upstairs..." He smiled.

"I've got a better idea," he said, remembering something.

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"I've never been arrested," Xiomara said, looking expectantly at Aberforth. He picked up his shot glass and downed the small amount of liquor in it.

"Inappropriate charms on a goat. Seems the Ministry has a problem with owning a tie-dye goat," he said disdainfully, throwing a small rock into the small waves of the Lake. They were sitting on the very same blanket that they had used on their very first attempt to get Albus and Minerva together. The blanket cushioned them from the hard wood surface of the dock while they played their little game under the moon.

"That's it? The Ministry are a bunch of morons. Your turn," she prompted him, pouring more Fire Whiskey into his glass. He thought for a moment.

"I've never...worn handcuffs except to get arrested," he said, looking at her. She grimaced and downed her glass. He raised his eyebrows.

"Kinky one, aren't you?" he asked, incredulous. She refilled her glass before answering.

"I prefer experimental."

"I prefer kinky," he shrugged, "Your turn."

"I've never...been married," she finally said. Aberforth's glass remain untouched.

"I could never find a woman who could understand me," he said simply.

"All the guys who dated me wanted only one thing," she sighed.

"Those guys are idiots," he said finally. She smiled slightly.

"All those girls were idiots," she said, "Anyways, your turn."

"I've never kissed someone on the first date," he said, looking deep into her eyes. She leaned in and kissed him, then she raised her glass and downed it. He looked at her curiously.

"He was a perfect gentleman and was sweet enough to set up a moonlit picnic for me after we failed yet again to set up his brother and my best friend," she said smiling. He grinned and leaned in to kiss her again, but this time the kiss grew in intensity. Her tongue explored his mouth as he pulled her closer. Their little game was forgotten as they made their pretending a reality.

Meanwhile as their co-conspirers looked out the Gryffindor window, Sirius laughed and said one simple sentence.

"One Dumbledore down, one Dumbledore and one Potter to go."

Luckily Peter, Remus, and Lily were there to hold James back.

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AN: well, i'm back and i'm happy with the way this finally turned out. r&r if u want to rant at me fore not updating sooner. lol.


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